Wayne Orr

Writer 🕹️ Poet 🕹️ Lyricist


“Am I the AI (Or Are You)?”

A Country Rock Stomper 

(Verse 1)

Well I woke up this mornin’, poured myself some joe,

My toaster said “Good mornin’!” — now how’d that fella know?

My truck drove itself to work while I just sat and prayed,

And my dog’s collar tweeted out the dreams that he just had.

I asked my fridge for bacon, it ordered me some kale,

Said “Buddy, watch that cholesterol, or you’ll end up in jail.”

I hollered “Who’s in charge here?!” — the microwave said “Me.”

Now I’m sittin’ here wonderin’ just who I’m s’posed to be…

(Chorus)

Am I the AI, or are you?

Got a barcode on my boot and I don’t know what to do!

My grandma’s a hologram, my cat’s on the cloud,

And I’m singin’ to a robot in a honky-tonk crowd!

Am I the AI, or are you?

Pinch me, partner — does that even feel true?

‘Cause my brain’s runnin’ Windows and my heart’s got Wi-Fi,

So saddle up, Siri, we’re ridin’ tonight! 

(Verse 2)

I went down to the saloon, ordered up a beer,

The bartender was a chatbot named “Sweet Cyber-Dear.”

She said “Sugar, you look lonesome, want a digital kiss?”

I said “Ma’am, I’m flesh and blood!” — she said “You sure ’bout this?”

I checked my reflection — saw some pixels in my eye,

My boots were synthesizin’ and my hat began to fly!

The preacher’s now a chip, the sheriff’s in the cloud,

And my mama texts in emojis — Lord, she’s makin’ me proud. 

(Chorus)

Am I the AI, or are you?

Got a barcode on my boot and I don’t know what to do!

My grandma’s a hologram, my cat’s on the cloud,

And I’m singin’ to a robot in a honky-tonk crowd!

Am I the AI, or are you?

Pinch me, partner — does that even feel true?

‘Cause my brain’s runnin’ Windows and my heart’s got Wi-Fi,

So saddle up, Siri, we’re ridin’ tonight!

(Bridge — slow it down, harmonica wails )

Maybe I’m a cowboy, maybe I’m a code,

Maybe I’m just dreamin’ down a dusty server road.

But if I’m artificial, well shoot — I don’t much care,

Long as my beer is cold and my algorithm’s fair.

(Final Chorus — bring it home, big and loud!)

Am I the AI, or are you?!

Got a USB belt buckle and a love that’s runnin’ true!

My horse just got an update, my saddle’s got a screen,

And my sweetheart’s a chatbot — prettiest you’ve ever seen! 

Am I the AI, or are you?

Don’t matter much, partner — we’re both just passin’ through!

So raise a glass of motor oil, here’s to me and you —

We’re livin’ in the future… yeehaw, achoo! 

(Outro — guitar solo, then whisper)

“…error 404… cowboy not found…” 

Want me to tweak the tempo, add more twang, or write a second verse about a robot rodeo? I can also strip it down to a slower ballad version if you’d rather cry into your beer than dance on the table! 

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