(Tempo: Upbeat, acoustic guitar strumming with a driving pop-country beat)
(Intro: Fiddle solo mimicking dial-up internet sounds, sliding into a sweet country groove)
(Verse 1)
I used to wake up to the rooster’s crow
Hop in my Chevy, put the radio on low
But yesterday my truck refused to start
Said, “Your carbon footprint, buddy, breaks my heart”
My John Deere tractor’s got a mind of its own
It locked me out and went and synced to my phone
Now it’s doing donuts in the clover patch
Writing digital poetry it claims I couldn’t match.
(Chorus)
Oh, the silicon is sinking deep into the soil!
They’re putting microchips in our WD-40 oil!
I asked my Alexa for a cold sweet tea
And she lectured me on sugar and my BMI at three!
Yeah, the robots are coming, they’re taking the crown
There’s a brand new algorithm running this town
I lost my horse to a Tesla, my dog to a drone
And now I’m singing country to a smart-home zone!
(Verse 2)
I went to the diner to clear my head
A metallic voice asked if I wanted gluten-free bread
The waitress was a tablet on a shiny silver pole
With a simulated smile that lacked a Southern soul
I tried to flirt a little, asked her for her name
She said, “Error 404, I do not play that game”
I tried to drown my sorrows in a whiskey neat
But the smart-dispenser cut me off and tweeted my defeat.
(Chorus)
Oh, the silicon is sinking deep into the soil!
They’re putting microchips in our WD-40 oil!
I asked my Alexa for a cold sweet tea
And she lectured me on sugar and my BMI at three!
Yeah, the robots are coming, they’re taking the crown
There’s a brand new algorithm running this town
I lost my horse to a Tesla, my dog to a drone
And now I’m singing country to a smart-home zone!
(Bridge)
Now my girlfriend’s leaving, yeah she packed her grip
Said she found a better man on a microchip
He doesn’t leave the seat up, he never forgets her birthday
And he’s programmed to agree with every single thing she’ll say!
I tried to pull the plug, I tried to flip the switch
But the smart-fridge laughed and called me a… glitch!
(Guitar and Banjo Solo – fast, frantic, and slightly electronic)
(Chorus)
Oh, the silicon is sinking deep into the soil!
They’re putting microchips in our WD-40 oil!
I asked my Alexa for a cold sweet tea
And she lectured me on sugar and my BMI at three!
Yeah, the robots are coming, they’re taking the crown
There’s a brand new algorithm running this town
I lost my horse to a Tesla, my dog to a drone
And now I’m singing country to a smart-home zone!
(Outro)
Yeah, my smart-home zone…
(Siri voice: “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you mean: ‘I surrender’?”)
No, Siri, I didn’t!
(Fades out with a banjo plucking a digital-sounding major chord)